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My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.

One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.

The wingman walked up to me as his friend stood beside him and screamed over the music, “You’re perfect!

This was the place I was born and raised; where nobody had to whisper the “n word” or hesitate to stick some feathers in their hair and paint their skin red as a sign of school spirit.

Growing up in New Hampshire didn’t prevent me from making friends or dating guys who weren’t white.

We ended up hitting it off, but it wasn’t until our first date that I realized I had underestimated the wingman’s abilities.

The guy did, in fact, have some kind of black girl fetish.Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit...wince. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded.We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love.After deciding to enroll at Towson University, friends of mine joked about me going to “the hood” and the violence in the Baltimore area, but I was never worried.Fitting into this lifestyle felt more natural to me than living in Rochester ever did.My friend likes black girls, but he doesn’t like them too dark!

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