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If YOUR ad does not contain any of the following phrases, please contact me immediately! " (Is this really the most profound philosophical statement you can come up with? Just once I'd like to see "loves to sob uncontrollably for days on end.") 8) "I'm ____ years old but I look MUCH younger! And if I just did a couple more sit-ups, I could still make the Giants starting lineup. ) 7) "I'm a down to earth..." (If I see this phrase one more time, I'll... Okay, I probably wouldn't do anything THAT drastic. These are the most fresh and original lines you can come up with? Oh well, there's always trade school.) And the Number One Most Overused Phrase In A Personal Ad is...

Dig a little deeper, Nietzsche.) 9) "Loves to laugh" or "Fun-loving" (Alright! But you get the idea.) 6) "I can go from jeans to a****ail dress in 10 minutes! I can't believe they haven't made this an Olympic event yet.) 5) "I'm a intelegent..." (If you can't SPELL intelligent... 1) "Don't worry, I plan to loose [sic] the weight real soon." (Ok, it's probably just me, but why am I still worried?

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) Put them all together, and the end result usually looks something like this.... I don't have a pic, but trust me, you won't be disappointed! I get along best with Geminis who have six-figure incomes!

"Fun-loving, down-to-earth woman with 5 kids from 5 different fathers seeks a inteligent guy who loves to laugh. I'm temporarily 50 pounds overweight, but don't worry, I plan to loose the weight right after I finish these fries! Must have a big heart and a bigger house, cuz the landlord just kicked us out! I've run into way too many " fun-loving, down to earth guys who want to hold hands on the beach or cuddle by the fire and who loves to laugh rather than have to think and care about anything that requires me having to get off the couch and miss the Big Game and lives life to the fullest, who needs a job anyway, in my ford F-10 pickup truck/Harley/Boat ( see attached panoramic 15 pictures taken from every conceivable angle and the artistic angled light that hi-lights the chrome beautifully during each season), looking for my soulmate who will love me for my soul and not be bothered by the fact I've never been gainfully employed" types.

Obviously, we all want and deserve partners who will accept our flaws and let us be ourselves around them.

But taking the "me at my worst" part literally can be a problem if, you know, you actually need to work on some stuff, too.

" (Well, as long you have realistic expectations.)lol....enjoyable. truly, i retch when i see the phrase loves walking on the beach, loves to cuddle by the fire.

I am NOT down to earth, but I usually only hover at an altitude of 2.1 millimeters, so I APPEAR to be a very grounded personality.

That should be obvious, but it’s not always completely clear.

Our own private thoughts, dreams, intuitions and fantasies are inevitably colored by what psychiatrist Carl Jung called the —the vast, reservoir-like body of shared human experiences and of myths, symbols and legends.

For decades, pop music has been littered with the metaphor of game-playing in relation to love, and it’s spilled over into personal ads.

When writing an online profile, don’t tell people you’re “not into games” or that you want “serious replies only” and “no BS.” If someone is indeed a game-player (whatever that means), chances are that 1) the person doesn’t know it, and/or 2) your warning will not dissuade him or her from rolling dice on your board anyway. Decrying the Art of Ad-Writing “I’m no good at these things” and “I never know what to say in personal ads.” Those statements, however sincere, don’t tell people anything about you – except that, perhaps, you lack the capacity to translate your self-awareness into words.

If you’re about to sign up for Yahoo Personals, Match.com, True.com, or one of the other dating-oriented websites, you ostensibly want to stand out (subtly) from the crowd by creating an original ad.

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