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When I got married ten years ago, there were certain things I expected—things like love and struggle and joy and pain.

But what I didn’t expect was that those emotions might not only occur within my marriage, but also between me and my single girlfriends.

Because friendship in any season is worth the time and intentionality it requires—even if it does get a little awkward as we figure things out along the way. Our seasons of life are markedly different, now, and I’m not always sure how to connect.

Maybe it’s because I was the first among my friends to get married, and it was as if an invisible wall went up in some of my friendships—a wall I didn’t know how to break through.

In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility.

These friendship pairs were then separated, and each member of each pair was asked a series of questions related to his or her romantic feelings (or lack thereof) toward the friend with whom they were taking the study.

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